Anger.
You’re allowed to be angry. Now there’s a thought! Indeed, a liberating one. I’ve been thinking about this more recently. And it’s the logical conclusion that I’ve reached: you’re allowed to be angry. The reality is, in church, we don’t always fair well with that particular emotion though. Maybe a bit of reflection would serve all of us well.
Church is a pretty dope place. You have people of different ethnicities, races, nationalities, socioeconomic statuses, political affiliations, personality types, etc., all coming together for the sake of one thing: worshiping God and advancing His Kingdom. Equally important is this notion of family. You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family. Your stuck with me as a brother in Christ until I die or renounce my faith, whichever comes first. Like all families, we’re there for each other in life’s beautiful moments. When we profess our love for our spouse, when we earn our degree (or 2nd or 3rd), when we buy our first home, when we become debt free, and other major life milestones. But life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. As family, sometimes we have to be there in otherwise difficult situations, too. When a close loved one dies, or when you learn of a miscarriage, or when you get passed over for a promotion, or much more. Ups and downs. Life has those.
Even so, in my observation, I don’t think we have a great approach to life’s lows in the church. Specifically, I’m talking about when people are angry. More specifically, I’m talking about when people are angry concerning social issues.
Take your pick.
Race relations.
Sexism.
Immigration.
Police Brutality.
Islamophobia/Zenophobia.
I’m here to tell you that you’re allowed to be angry. But in church, we don’t always make people feel that way. In fact, I think we’ve made anger pretty taboo, actually. In the extreme, we make people feel bad that they’re angry at all.
You know, the Bible describes us as God’s handiwork (Ephesians 2:10). I don’t think there’s anything, in all of existence, that God is more proud of than the creation of man and woman. You realize man is the only thing, in all of existence, that the Bible says is made in God’s image? The Bible doesn’t say that about angels. It doesn’t say that about spirits. It doesn’t say that about cherubim or seraphim. We, MAN, are made in his image… and then there’s everything else.
While I think there are many distinguishing features that set us apart as unique, like personality, and the pursuit of self-actualization, etc., I can’t help but feel that emotion is a very, very important part of how humans reflect God. We see God described as compassionate (Deuteronomy 32:36; Judges 2:18; Psalm 135:14), having regret (Genesis 6:6), being content (Genesis 1?), feeling grief (Genesis 6:6; Psalm 78:40), having joy (Jeremiah 32:41; Isaiah 62:5), and even having hate (Proverbs 6:16). When I think about the Old Testament in particular, 2 emotions usually come to mind about God: Jealousy (Exodus 20:5; Exodus 34:14) and Anger (Deuteronomy 9:22; Psalms 7:11; Romans 1:18), so add those to the list, too. Israel had a bad habit of worshipping foreign gods, which made Yahweh jealous, and ultimately, he would become quite angry with them.
Good thing there’s grace (although I’m not sure I’d call that an emotion)!
YES. God got angry (past tense). And He gets angry (present tense). I think there are lots of reasons why, but it’s so important to note and understand that we have emotion. Further, attempting to suppress our emotions, in some ways, is like trying to renounce one of our most defining and distinguishing characteristics as humans. Our emotions, anger included, are part of what make us like God.
YES, you are allowed to be angry. Absolutely.
Now, I know what you’re thinking.
“The Bible says, ‘be angry and do not sin.’”
Sure, that’s Ephesians 4.
And there’s another scripture in the gospel (Matthew 21:12-13; Mark 11:15-18) with Jesus flipping tables because he’s angry. Those are helpful for context, but I also want to make sure we’re clear on my broader point. My broader point is that we’ve made anger taboo in church, even if it’s not sin. My broader point is that we make people feel bad about their anger, even if it’s not sin. My broader point is that we treat anger as an emotion quite differently than we treat almost any other feeling on the human emotion spectrum.
For those reasons, as I mentioned before, I think we’d do well to rethink how we conceptualize anger in the church.
True, I will acknowledge that I think emotions can cloud our judgment and lead us to say and do things we ordinarily wouldn’t. But have you noticed, at church, we don’t make most emotions taboo? Just anger. Even though I think all emotion, in some capacity or another, can serve to compromise our judgement.
If a married man comes home from work and is excited about a promotion he received, his wife doesn’t sit him down and say, “Careful, honey! I don’t want you to get so excited that you have too much to drink. You need to make sure you have your emotions in check, okay sweetpea?”
That would be really weird, albeit her comments wouldn’t be unreasonable.
If one of my roommates came home from work and told me that they’re debt free, I wouldn’t sit them down and say, “Careful, bro! I don’t want you to get too excited, take your pants off and go sleep with somebody. You really need to dial it down, okay?”
That would be really weird, albeit, like before, my comments certainly wouldn’t be unreasonable.
As I stated, I think all emotion can act in a way to compromise our better judgement, but we tend to treat anger… differently. Further, at church, we’ve created a situation where we’re allowed to demonstrate emotions that are socially accepted as “good”, and we’re expected to suppress emotions that we deem bad or taboo, even though all of these emotions come from God and make us more like Him.
I’ll admit, it is worth noting that the Bible says Christians should be SLOW to anger (James 1:19)… with good reason, I’m sure. In fact, that verse follows by saying the anger of men does not produce the righteousness of God. But it’s also worth noting that Paul says in 2 Corinthians 7 (verse 10) that godly sorrow produces (among other things) indignation. Yes, godly sorrow, according to Paul, periodically produces indignation, which is a form of anger. I say that to say, very clearly, we can’t characterize all anger as undesirable, because James says the anger of man does not produce righteousness and Paul says godly sorrow does produce indignation (anger).
Like many spiritual matters, I think we have to evaluate things by the fruit they produce (Matthew 7:17-20).
I need to be careful.
There are many, many despicable and reprehensible things that have unfolded over the history of mankind, linked to the emotion of anger. We’re less than 4 chapters into the Bible when we see how anger lead Cain to kill his brother Abel (Genesis 4). There were only 4 people on the face of the planet, and one of them got angry and killed another. Certainly, this indicates some precedent. Beyond that, even from a research perspective, literature on the psychology of emotions dichotomizes emotions as positive and negative. Not surprisingly, things like anger, anxiety, guilt, sadness, etc. are all categorized as negative emotions. Rightfully so. I don’t think anyone enjoys feeling angry, per se (relative to happiness, enthusiasm, excitement, etc.).
Still, I can’t help but feel we need to give anger a bit more thought.
For instance, I don’t know if we do a great job distinguishing between people who are angry and people who are sinning. I think our great temptation, and pitfall, is to treat them as one in the same, which is just plain lazy. “I don’t know if you’re sinning or not, but I’m pretty sure you’re angry! And that’s bad. Be more Christ like!” Are anger and spirituality mutually exclusive though? Can I be angry AND be like Jesus? We tend not to see moments where we’re happy as preventing us from being like Jesus. We tend not to see moments where we’re sad as preventing us from being like Jesus, and sadness is actually a ‘negative’ emotion, much like anger. We tend not to see moments where we’re disappointed as preventing us from being like Jesus. Why should it be any different with anger?
Contrary to popular belief, I don’t think being angry and being like Christ are mutually exclusive. You’re allowed to be angry.
Again, being angry only becomes a problem when it causes someone to sin. But by that logic, I should never express any emotion… because any of them could cause me to sin. The Bible could just as easily read, “Be happy, but do not sin.” Or, “Be sad, but do not sin.” But anger is the one we focus on, because in church, it’s a lot more taboo. Sure, church should be a happy place. But would you prefer people be authentic and come angry or put on a façade and leave feeling as if they can’t be 100 with their family?
Just so you know, most people do the latter. I’m not convinced that’s healthy, nor am I convinced that’s sustainable. But that’s another conversation entirely.
It’s almost like we subscribe to this notion that being these emotionally suppressed robots is the spiritual ideal: “only express the good emotions, and minimize all the bad ones.” For people who master that, we call them “mature”, or we say they have great “self-control”, even though our emotions make us more like God. For people who don’t subscribe to the notion of being an emotionally suppressed robot, we call them “less mature” or say they have “less self-control” (I should mention this may be true for many of them but certainly not all of them).
Here’s something that I think we tend to overlook: prophets, by definition, are people in the scriptures who spoke on behalf of God, and quite frequently, they ended up sharing things that people did not want to hear. We could start with one of Israel’s most prominent leaders, Moses, mosey on over to the prophet Nathan, make our way over to Jesus, take a pitstop at Stephen in Acts, and who could forget Paul. Prophets, quite frequently, told people things they didn’t want to hear. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if people characterized them as angry, simply because prophets had many, many unflattering conversations.
Let’s look at some of these.
In 2 Samuel 12, Nathan rebukes David with fire. In fact, at one point, he straight up told David that his neighbors are going to sleep with his wives. I’m sure some people felt like Nathan was angry about David’s adultery, but as far as I can tell, Nathan did not sin, even if he was angry.
How about Jeremiah? Here’s a man that was described as a weeping prophet, because he had a very sad message to deliver Israel: Israel is about to be smashed like a pot, by the king of Babylon, because of their unrepentant sin. There’s not a lot of fluff in that message. Jeremiah’s message was pretty pointed. But Jeremiah didn’t sin, at least not as far as I can tell. Interestingly, even though Jeremiah may have been characterized as angry by fellow Jews, he was actually pretty sad… he KNEW what was going to happen to Israel, and there’s nothing he could do to stop it.
I think we learn an important truth here. Sometimes, people will characterize you as angry because of the message that you have, or the nature of its content, even when you’re pretty moderate, all things considered. In Jeremiah’s case, I don’t think he was angry at all… he was sad. As a prophet, God gave him revelation about what was to come… and I think that revelation made him far more sad than it did angry.
His people were going to be broken. Of course he was sad.
How about Jesus?
I would potentially go as far as to say that the Pharisees and Sadducees are the antagonists of the Gospel (although we can all be religious hypocrites, for sure). And Jesus had some pretty pointed things to say about them. If you don’t believe me, see Matthew 23. Jesus goes off, for like, 40 verses. My favorite is when he called them whitewashed tombs: he basically said they look great on the outside but they’re dead on the inside. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed this, but Jesus had very strong opinions. And we get to read about that throughout the Gospel. I can’t help but feel like if Jesus were here today, somebody in the church would probably try and rebuke him for “being angry”.
Nah, don’t hit Jesus with that. He can be angry and be spiritual at the same time. They’re not mutually exclusive.
One of the biggest points to keep in mind, here, is that within the social sciences, one of the predictors of anger is violation, perceived injustice, or some observed wrong doing. Not surprisingly, Jesus did seem to be angry about how the religious elite oppressed the people, how the poor and needy were marginalized, the hypocrisy of religious leaders, etc. I’m sure Jesus saw these as a violation of expectations, perceived injustice, and wrong doing on their part. Jesus was almost CERTAINLY angry. He’s God, so I would expect him to be angry at injustice (among other feelings, too).
But Jesus never sinned, not even once.
Now I admit, this is speculative, but if Jesus were here today, and he had something to say about a school shooting, it wouldn’t surprise me if he got on Facebook to say something about it. It also wouldn’t surprise me in the least if somebody from church reads his Facebook status and approaches him on Sunday, because they felt like He was being unwise, even though He didn’t sin… because he never sins. If Jesus were here today, and he had something to say about the persistent oppression of women, it wouldn’t surprise me if he got on Facebook to say something about it. Again, it also wouldn’t surprise me if he got a phonecall later that day from someone in his small group who felt like he wasn’t being an ambassador for God, even though He didn’t sin. Because He never sins.
Before you shoot down those ideas, remember, prophets were VERY outspoken people. These were the guys in the marketplaces preaching a message that nobody wanted to hear… I’ll let you decide what that would mean in the 21st century. I don’t necessarily have a vested stake in your opinion, per se, because I tend not to weigh in with that type of commentary on Facebook, but I would encourage you to give it some thought… prophets were very outspoken people. And they had to have tough skin.
Just because you don’t like how someone chooses to deliver their message doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with it. And just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it isn’t like Christ. Jesus wasn’t an especially likeable person, anyway. If he were alive today, and he went to your church, you guys might not even be friends.
Anyway…
Yes, quite frequently Jesus had strong opinions. Yes, sometimes Jesus was angry, or perhaps came off as angry. But he never, ever sinned. If Jesus can maintain his opinions, and be angry, all the while being fully devoted to God, I think we have to come to terms with the fact that anger can, and perhaps should, be an absolutely normal part of Christianity.
I don’t think that takes away from the fact that it’s a negative emotion. I think EVERYONE enjoys being happy far, far more than being angry, but I do think we need to rethink this notion of anger being at odds with Christianity, because I’m not entirely convinced that’s true.
I feel like I’m starting to talk in circles. Here’s the point. Guys, people are angry. They’re angry about race relations in America. They’re angry about the state of politics in America. They’re angry about police brutality. They’re angry about the blatant and persistent sexism that exists, and has existed, for centuries. Perhaps most importantly, there are people angry about how all of this intertwines and manifests in various capacities, even in the four walls of the church. In their defense, historically, the church hasn’t done a great job of managing this… take your pick. Scandals, past and present, with the Catholic church. Colonialism. The Slave Trade. Questionable political candidates. Extrabiblical gender roles. The list goes on. Past or present, the church doesn’t have a great track record with this.
YES. People are angry.
But here’s the kicker: they’re allowed to be. And you need to let them.
The human emotion spectrum makes us more like God. Anger is an emotion. Let people emote, AS LONG AS THEY’RE SELF CONTROLLED AND GODLY ABOUT IT.
You let people be happy without batting an eye. You let people be sad without calling their character into question. You let people be joyful without reading a Facebook status and sending them a message with a scripture. You let people be disappointed, without wondering how they serve as a small group leader, given their rants on politics or race relations. Let people be angry. Honestly, there are much, much worse things. Like sin. Sin defiles us in the eyes of God. Sin keeps people out of heaven. Sin separates us from God. None of that is true for anger. Anger will not separate us from God or defile us in the eyes of God, because it’s not sin. Calling anger sin, because it leads you to say and do things that aren’t like Jesus is along the lines of calling money sin, because it causes some people to be greedy or materialistic. It’s a huge stretch, and that kind of application of scripture is oppressive, questionable, dangerous, manipulative, and isn’t fitting for New Testament Christianity. It’s also a bit lazy, in my opinion. I call all of us, myself included, to be more thoughtful. This is for me just as much as it is for you.
As God’s handiwork, our emotions, anger included, make us more like our creator. What comes of our anger is a different discussion entirely.
***Sure, we still need to be ambassadors for Christ. Yes, we still need to love our neighbor. Absolutely, I need to be like Jesus. Agreed, I still need to be a light to the world. But I’m of the school of thought that people can be angry and still do all of these things, albeit I’ll concede it may pose additional challenges in doing so.***
In case you’re wondering, I’m not angry. But even if I was, it shouldn’t be that big a deal, although, in my case, there’s the angry black man stereotype. But we can talk about that another time. We’re already over 3000 words.
Can I be honest? Time will tell, I suppose.
Nnam’